Digging Deep https://diggingdeep.org/ Community of support for parents and professionals of young people with chronic illness or mental health challenges Mon, 05 Sep 2022 18:51:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.0.7 https://i0.wp.com/diggingdeep.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/cropped-DD-New-Profile-Image.jpg?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 Digging Deep https://diggingdeep.org/ 32 32 161729357 Fellow Nonprofit Spotlight – The Equality Crew https://diggingdeep.org/fellow-nonprofit-spotlight-the-equality-crew/ https://diggingdeep.org/fellow-nonprofit-spotlight-the-equality-crew/#respond Tue, 06 Sep 2022 07:00:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=16042 Summer is over and the kids are back to school! This can be an exciting – yet stressful – time for both students and parents. What can make it even more stressful is when you don’t know what resources are available for your LGBTQ+ child. If you are the parent or guardian of a LGBTQ+ […]

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Summer is over and the kids are back to school! This can be an exciting – yet stressful – time for both students and parents. What can make it even more stressful is when you don’t know what resources are available for your LGBTQ+ child.

If you are the parent or guardian of a LGBTQ+ student, you’ll most likely understand what it’s like to worry about whether or not your child is being treated fairly at school. Many students on this spectrum have been at risk for things like bulling, harassment, and discrimination. Not only is this disruptive to their education, but also to their mental health and physical safety. Research shows that having support at home, school, and in their community is the strongest defense against attempted suicide among LGBTQ+ youth – and that is why we wanted to spotlight a fellow nonprofit that is doing their part in helping young people in their community get that much-needed support.

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https://www.theequalitycrew.org/

Who is the Equality Crew?

Co-Founders of the Equality Crew, brothers Phoenix and Hunter.
Co-Founders of the Equality Crew, brothers Phoenix (he/him) and Hunter (he/him).

The Equality Crew is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization that provides and/or identifies resources and referrals for LGBTQ+ youth, from PreK through high school, and their allies, including parents/caregivers, near peers, LGBTQ+ adults, teachers and community members in Northwest Arkansas and the surrounding areas.

The Equality Crew was founded in April 2021 by a 14-year-old transgender Arkansan named Phoenix. He recognized the need for LGBTQ+ youth to have a strong and supportive community. “I realized there are tons of organizations that support LGBTQ+ adults but very few focused on kids. Instead of waiting for it to happen, I decided to take it into my own hands because I believe that everyone deserves to live in a world that is equal.”

It’s safe to say that Phoenix and Hunter are great examples of how teens can make a significant positive impact on their communities when given the opportunity and platform to do so!

According to their website: “Phoenix rallied the support of community leaders to create an LGBTQ+ led board and officially launched The Equality Crew at Siloam Pride in June 2021, and then welcomed over 75 LGBTQ+ youth and allies for its first event in July. The Equality Crew established the state’s first and only Affirming Teacher and School Staff Database ahead of the 2021-22 school year so LGBTQ+ students could identify and connect with affirming teachers in their school building, with over 200 teachers and staff from across the state joining the database within the first quarter of the school year.”

You might recognize someone else from their team from a webinar we held last year. In June 2021, Michael Bennett-Spears (he/him) was kind enough to join us for our webinar about how we can better support the mental health of LGBTQ+ youth. You can watch the webinar recording by clicking this link.


The Equality Crew created this free online resource book to help guide students and their guardians through the beginning of this new school year.

The Back to School Guide for LGBTQ+ Students and Families contains back to school tips and resources for anyone facing discrimination/bullying, inspirational bits to encourage young people to embrace their identities, and breathing exercises to try during times of stress!

Plus, they have created an amazing new resource for those they serve in the community of Northwest Arkansas – an online database of affirming teachers and school staff. This unique resource connects NW Arkansas LGBTQ+ youth with affirming teachers and school staff in their school building, and it is completely confidential. All families have to do is fill out a confidential form to receive a list with the name, grade/subject and email address of an affirming teacher or school staff in their attending school building.


While the Equality Crew currently only serves the NWA area, our team at the Digging Deep Project wanted to share what they do as an example of how other communities can make a difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ youth.

Do you have a local or nationwide nonprofit you want to give a shout-out to? Email our community manager at lacey@shadowsedge.com about it!

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Addicted to Bad News https://diggingdeep.org/addicted-to-bad-news/ https://diggingdeep.org/addicted-to-bad-news/#respond Tue, 30 Aug 2022 22:31:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=16038 "I think I have just been so overwhelmed by everything bad about the world, instead of seeing the large amount of good there still is."

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It has become a part of my daily routine. I turn on my little Bluetooth speaker and listen to one of the major news channels while I tidy the kitchen after dinner. As I scrub a grease-covered pan, something along the lines of “another mass shooting” plays over the speaker. Or something about how there have been more lives lost to some natural disaster somewhere. Or whatever else – there doesn’t seem to be a shortage of bad news lately.

It’s not just in the kitchen after dinner. It’s in the morning, when I turn on the radio while getting ready for the day in the bedroom. Or during my lunch break at my desk. Or whenever I am driving to the store.

Recently, I found myself actively listening to the news more than four times in one day on a regular basis. That’s a lot of time, considering how short a day is. And how nasty that can be to my outlook (especially first thing in the morning). I feel like my addicted to bad news has somehow taken over my life without me realizing it. Just like any addiction, I guess…

Why have I become so obsessed with everything that’s going wrong in the world?

Part of me wonders if it’s because this past half decade has felt like a whirlwind of bad news and strange happenings. More particularly the past two years). Everyday has felt like we are waiting for the next bad thing to happen. And after most of us not being prepared for what we’ve experienced, I find myself mentally preparing for the worst to come…. by watching the daily broadcasts.

I think my reasoning for turning on the news so early in the morning is that I need to hear what happened since last night so I can be better prepared for the day. That I’d rather hear the horrors of the world from the safety of my home. So that maybe I can know of any immediate dangers I should avoid going to the store. But, that can’t be healthy for my mental wellbeing is it?

Being on constant high-alert for the next terrible thing to happen is starting to wearing me down…

My outlook on the world and the other people that inhabit it has become very negative recently. Oftentimes, I find myself muttering things like “I HATE people,” or dreaming of living on a deserted island somewhere. Which is VERY contradictory to who I actually am! I am a very social person when I feel safe enough to open up to people.

I think I have just been so overwhelmed by everything bad about the world, instead of seeing the large amount of good there still is.

After realizing this, I’m making a conscious decision to limit my amount of information I absorb in a day. I won’t be able to completely give up checking the news – that would go against who I am and what I believe as someone who wants to actively participate in the community/world around me. I need to be aware of the info stream so I can be involved in changing things that need to be changed for the better. But I’ve come to realize that if I want to be happier, I need to have more moderation on how much of that information I absorb in one day. Just like anything else in life, I need to monitor how much I take in so that I don’t drown in the side effects of it.

What have I been doing to change this addiction to bad news?

To start, I am replacing the bad habit with something new. Instead of turning on the news when I do the dishes, I have been listening to things about what interested me as a child. Shows about the natural benefits to different plants. Or the habits and lives of animals. Possibly the lives of famous and not-so-known artists. Whatever is new and exciting and interesting! And it’s been fun delving into who Little Lacey was once super interested in! Instead of scaring what’s left of my inner-child, I am fostering it.

And whenever I do listen to the news, I’m trying to limit it to once a day. And I try to be very conscious of WHEN I listen to it. Not before bed so I don’t have dreams of terrible things. And not first thing in the morning, so I don’t start the day feeling only fear.

I also try to take a moment to pause, reflect, and be mindful after I am done listening so that I can still be who I need to be for myself, my family, and the community I work with everyday. Maybe I’ll journal on how it affected me, or maybe I will meditate to try to make peace with the swelling of emotions in my heart. Taking the time to grieve for those lost to devastating events is also something I might do, because grief is normal and healthy, and honoring those we have lost is important as well.

I know I am not alone in this addiction to bad news.

Many people that I know also struggle with this – my parents, my friends, a few strangers I’ve had the rare chance of discussing this with. So I figure you might feel this too, since you’ve found this blog. How are you affected when bad news breaks? Are you taking steps to take care of your mental wellbeing and the wellbeing of your family when this happens? I would love to hear from you all, so please comment on this blog.

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Helping Your Child Who Suffers From Anxiety https://diggingdeep.org/helping-your-child-who-suffers-from-anxiety/ https://diggingdeep.org/helping-your-child-who-suffers-from-anxiety/#comments Tue, 21 Jun 2022 07:00:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15982 Marie Villeza with Elder Impact shares tips on how to help kids deal with anxiety.

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Childhood can be a difficult time for many kids, and when anxiety and stress rear their ugly heads, even the most routine of tasks can become overwhelming. Many young people suffer from these feelings, and while they are caused by lots of different things (school pressures, issues with friends, moving, etc.), there is no one way to cope with them. What works for one child may not work for another, so it’s important to try various coping methods.

Fortunately, there are several ways you can help your child get through their anxiety and find a healthy path. The key is to keep a level head, stay calm, and let your loved one know that you’re there to support them.

The Digging Deep Project offers some of the best ways to help your child deal with stressful feelings.

Boost self-confidence

It’s important to help your child find their own self-confidence so that they’ll be better equipped to handle stressful moments when they occur. This can be done in several ways, including encouraging your child to try new things, join a sport, or enter into a leadership role in a group such as The Boy Scouts or at school.

Stay calm

It can be difficult to keep your cool when your child is going through a tough time, especially if it affects them at school or when their sleeping and eating habits change because of it. Just remember that although anxiety doesn’t necessarily go away, the symptoms can be managed and controlled. Depending on your child’s age, it may be a good idea to keep a couple of small toys in your bag to help them get their mind off their anxiety in the moment and to calm down. You can also use a particular memento or favorite item–a photograph or necklace, for instance, or an amethyst crystal, which has been shown to invoke calm–to help your child focus and relax.

Teach self-care

Self-care is important at any age. Teach your child the best ways to keep themselves happy and healthy, which can include getting enough sleep, engaging in daily exercise, and eating a well-balanced diet. Cutting out caffeine is also a good idea, as it can exacerbate anxious feelings.

Meditation and yoga can also be helpful, as they can promote mindful thinking and help your child focus on the present rather than worrying about the past or future. This is something the two of you can do together, so consider finding a class that both of you can take, or buy a DVD to use at home.

A change of scenery

Depending on the situation, your child may benefit from a change of scenery, and a short getaway might be a great way to recharge his batteries. Consider a family seekender weekend in a nearby city, and put together a light list of fun activities and restaurants everyone can enjoy. If you think time in nature is the better choice, put together a family camping trip. Keep it easy by choosing a KOA spot with facilities, and pack for comfort with plenty of easy-to-make foods as well as warm blankets and sleeping pads.

Talk to your child

One of the best ways to help your child is by talking…and listening. Sit down with your child and talk about their feelings, but try not to ask leading questions. Ask about what they’re feeling but don’t be specific; leave that to the child. Often, kids don’t understand their feelings and your child may not know why he feels the way he does. This is normal, but it’s important to listen for cues from your loved one about what might have triggered the anxiety.

Don’t avoid situations

Your child may be inclined to avoid situations that trigger anxiety, but it’s important for them–in most cases–to face those things. Let your child know that you support them and that they are strong enough to get through anything. Often, staring head-on at whatever is causing those feelings can help an individual learn how to cope a little more easily.

Remember that anxiety can show itself in many ways, and there are various ways to treat it. If those feelings are affecting your child’s ability to function, it may be time to speak to a professional. School counselors and therapists are wonderful resources for kids who suffer from anxiety.


About the guest writer, Marie:

Thank you to guest writer, Marie Villeza, for sharing this article with us to share! Marie is behind Elder Impact, and is dedicated to providing resources to seniors and their caregivers. She hopes that through this, she can empower seniors against ageism and make the best decisions for their lives.

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Crisis lines for anyone struggling right now… https://diggingdeep.org/crisis-lines-for-anyone-struggling-right-now/ https://diggingdeep.org/crisis-lines-for-anyone-struggling-right-now/#respond Tue, 07 Jun 2022 07:00:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15974 With many of us facing feelings of confusion and fear right now, we wanted to share helpful crisis lines for anyone struggling right now...

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A lot has happened in the past few weeks… For many of us around the world, the news can feel really scary and heartbreaking right now. Where to even begin? We know that nothing we could say could take away the heartache and the fear many of us are feeling… We just wanted to check in and let you know that you aren’t alone in the world ❤ If you are in a place where you need help, here are crisis lines for anyone struggling right now… And if you are looking for more resources for a specific challenge, you can find more by clicking here.

English Mental Health Lines

USA

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

CANADA

Helpline 1: 604-872-3311 (Greater Vancouver)
Helpline 2: 18666613311

(Toll free-Howe Sound/Sunshine Coast)
Helpline 3: 1-866-872-0113 (TTY)

UK

Anxiety UK: 0844 477 5774
Depression Alliance: 0845 123 23 20
Rape Crisis Centre: 01708 765200

AUSTRALIA

Salvos Careline 1300 36 36 22 (National)
Lifeline 13 11 14ALIA

Ukraine Mental Health Lines

Телефонуй зараз 7333

Цілодобово 24/7

Español Mental Health Lines

ESPAÑA

El Teléfono de la Esperanza
+34 717 003 717

COLOMBIA

Baranquilla: 1(00 57 5) 372 27 27

Bogota: (57-1) 323 24 25

Deutsch Mental Health Lines

DEUTSCHLAND

Lifeline: 13 11 14
SuHelpline 1: 0800 1110 111
Helpline 2: 0800 1110 222
Hotline: 0800 181 0771

SCHWEIZ

Helpline 1: 147
Website: WWW.147.CH

ÖSTERREICH

Helpline 1: 142
Website: WWW.TELEFONSEELSORGE.AT

Français Mental Health Lines

FRANCE

Hotline: 01 45 39 40 00

suicide.ecoute.free.fr

Hotline: 0800 235 236

Hotline: (+33) (0)1 40 09 15 22

Website: sos-amitie.com

Nederlands Mental Health Lines

Helpline 1: 0900-0767

Website: WWW.SENSOOR.NL

Hindi Mental Health Lines

Crisis support: 7893078930

Helpline: 91 44 24640050

Português Mental Health Lines

BRAZIL

Linha de ajuda 1: +55 51 211 2888
Linha de ajuda 2: Disque 180

PORTUGAL

Helpline 1: (808) 200 204
Website: http://www.telefone-amizade.pt/site/

Disclaimer: We provide this list of helplines to our readers for informational purposes only -we are unable to regularly verify these resources and so does not endorse any of the services or organizations listed. We strongly encourage you to take steps to verify the credibility of any organization offering mental health or other support. If your country does not have a national helpline, please seek professional help. For more useful resources scroll down. This list was last updated March 2022.

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Resources for Grief Due to Gun Violence https://diggingdeep.org/resources-for-grief-due-to-gun-violence/ https://diggingdeep.org/resources-for-grief-due-to-gun-violence/#respond Wed, 25 May 2022 21:05:20 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15961 We wanted to share some resources for those dealing with grief due to gun violence - because many of us are grieving this tragedy from all over the country - as well as resources on how to talk to your kids about it.

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This month has been beyond emotionally tumultuous in the United States. Not even two weeks after the tragedy in Buffalo, NY, an elementary school has been devastated by gun violence. It’s a worst nightmare for anyone – parents, students, educators. Parents everywhere are horrified, angry, and confused, as to why this is still happening. And not only do parents have to deal with their own emotions about what has happened, but they also have to figure out what to tell their kids! And sadly, this is not the first time the Digging Deep Project has written about something like this. Last year, Dr. Kristi Pikiewicz wrote about talking to kids after the shooting in the King Soopers in Boulder, Colorado… her neighborhood grocery store.

We wanted to share some resources for those dealing with grief due to gun violence – because many of us are grieving this tragedy from all over the country – as well as resources on how to talk to your kids about it. We hope you find these helpful, and if you have any resources you would like to share with other parents, don’t hesitate to share those in the comments below.


Talking to kids about it:

– CBS Mornings and Child Mind Institute

Earlier today, Dr. Jamie Howard with the Child Mind Institute shared advice on how parents can talk to their kids about the mass shooting in Texas on CBS Mornings.

Child Mind Institute also shared this article on their website to help guide parents through the anxiety their kids may be feeling about returning to school. How to Talk to Kids About School Shootings is also available in Spanish here.

– NPR.org

NPR.org shared this interview with Melissa Brymer, the director of terrorism and disaster programs at the UCLA-Duke National Center for Child Traumatic Stress. Read the article here.

– Common Sense Media

Common Sense Media shares this blog about how you can take an age-based approach to discussing news of school shootings with kids.

– National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

Helping Children Cope With Terrorism – Tips for Families and Educators

Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers


For working through your own grief:

– American Psychological Association (APA)

Managing your distress in the aftermath of a shooting

– MPRNews

Coping with prolonged grief over George Floyd, mass shootings and the pandemic (a podcast).

– Today.com

How to deal with grief, pain and anxiety after the Texas school shooting with David Kessler, grief expert.

– If you are a parent that is in need of emotional support right now:

Call the National Parent Helpline at 1-855-4A PARENT (1-855-427-2736) to get emotional support from a trained Advocate. They are available Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.

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Beat The Summer Blues – A Guide For Success https://diggingdeep.org/beat-the-summer-blues-a-guide-for-success/ https://diggingdeep.org/beat-the-summer-blues-a-guide-for-success/#respond Wed, 11 May 2022 19:56:48 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15946 Whether your summer plans include a staycation or an extended vacation away, you can use this guide to help you plan, prepare, and get organized for a great summer. 

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It is easy to underestimate the impact of the summer on your mental health. After all, the birds chirp, the flowers bloom, and all is well, right? Nope. The pressures of summer expectations can bring on the summer blues. Coupling that with the physiological factors that impact mental health and the whole season can feel exhausting — but it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. With a bit of guidance and a few creative ideas, you can plan on enjoying a fun-filled summer and a well-balanced social life.

  • Get organized — a cleaner, more organized home can significantly impact your health and mindset more than external elements like neighborhood and walkability score.  
  • Include fun activities — change up some family favorites with new activities like backyard games, indoor crafts, or science experiments.
  • Include self-care — incorporate restorative activities into your summer plan.
  • New tools — learn new ways for the whole family to improve their daily habits like exercise, mindfulness, and sleep.

Understanding Summer Blues

The pressure to make the most of the long days of summer can be overwhelming. While the obvious priority for many people living in the United States is to stay cool during the hot weather, there are other expectations to keep in mind.

  • Family time — the kids are off school, family members have booked time off work, and friends have made plans to visit.  
  • Make the most of the long days — finish long-overdue projects, read all the books on the bestsellers list, train for a half marathon.
  • Entertain — enjoy a barbecue, craft cocktails, and play bocce with friends in your backyard.
  • Travel — take that road trip to a National Park or an amusement park.
  • Relax — practice yoga, meditate, listen to podcasts on well-being.

But what if you don’t feel up to it? What if you have the summer blues? Winter Seasonal Affective Disorder is a major depressive disorder that affects 5% of Americans. The symptoms include fatigue, weight gain, and a general sense of malaise. People who have SAD experience agitation, restlessness, anxiety, disturbed sleep or difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite, and weight loss during the summer months.

These symptoms can contribute to negative emotions during the summer months. Feeling like you can’t make the most of your time because you are anxious and overstimulated can make depression even worse. 

DIY Your Home For Summer 

Give your home a revitalization with a summer-themed makeover. Have a family meeting and get everyone to list the things they want to achieve this summer — science camp, music classes, team sports, hobbies, and family vacations. Once you have a plan together, you can set up your home, and your summer, for success.

Reorganize, Revitalize, Remodel

You can prepare your home for the summer inside and out with simple organizational tools, renovations, or remodeling projects. 

  • Prioritize seasonal items like watersports equipment and camping gear over winter items.
  • Set up social areas in the backyard with games like croquet and bocce.
  • Install a pool or jacuzzi to create a space for relaxation.
  • Prepare for the heat — service your cooling system, adjust ceiling fans and turn off unused appliances.

Summer Backyard Makeover

Outdoor spaces such as backyards are considered one of the most desirable areas of the house. They also become the protagonists to give place to gatherings with family and friends.  Renovating it so that it is reborn with all its potential is part of the plan to enjoy it to the fullest this outdoor season.

  • Garden Care: At this time it is convenient to do some maintenance work to take better advantage of flowering. Cut the dry flowers of the species that bloom in summer so that the plants grow stronger and trim the buds of those that bloomed in spring.
  • Summer irrigation: Watering is essential at this time of the year and, in most cases, it should be almost daily. Doing it over the late afternoon makes the irrigation more effective.
  • New lighting: Lighting is essential in outdoor spaces to create a welcoming atmosphere, especially if it is an area where family and friends gather. Changing the bulbs, renewing the style of the lamps, adding some garlands with warm lights that accompany, are some of the ideas to renew the lighting of the garden.
  • New decoration: Renewing the decoration of the garden is not always an easy task. Changing some details -no matter how small- can be more than enough to make it look like a new one. 

Cultivate nature at home

Activities during the summer can be challenging when not traveling. Something of which you can take advantage of the summer is teaching kids the importance of nature inside and outside home, and to have a good relationship with it. 

Getting indoor life in your house is a great way to bring light in, not only decorate. This can also help improve your mood during the day as they bring air circulation. Try to start with plants that don’t need a lot of maintenance. Some examples of indoor plants for beginners include Epipremnum Pinnatum (Money plant), Monstera Deliciosa (Window Leaf), Aloe Vera, Sansevieria Trifasciata (Snake Plant) and Mentha Suaveolens (Mint).

Outdoor plants activities are also really helpful for mood and motivation. Gardening is a great activity to learn and put in practice during summer. Getting your family involved with it can improve your relationship and also contribute to environment.
Among the best outdoor plants to start cultivating in your backyard are Black-eyed Susans, Daffodils, Day-lilies, Sunflowers and Coneflowers. 

Establishing responsibilities to your children is a good way to teach independence. Giving them a plant to take care of is the perfect summer activity.  You can do this by encouraging them to plant a bean and observe the plant grow together.

Another way to contribute to the environment is to start growing your own vegetables and fruits. It is a very relaxing activity which, in addition to taking you closer to nature, works with your patience and discipline. Explore the different types of gardens at home that can suit your needs. Bringing fresh and healthier food to your table should not be a problem!

Keeping the house cold during the summer

  • High temperatures can cause a lot of discomfort at home, but there are many techniques to keep your home cool even in the hottest summer.
  • Adjust ceiling fans: Knowing the direction your ceiling fan should turn can help save you money on your utility bills and create a much more comfortable environment for everyone at home. Your ceiling fan blades should be set to spin counterclockwise during the summer. When your ceiling fan spins quickly in this direction, it pushes air down and creates a cool breeze. Changing the direction of the ceiling fan blades helps to keep a room’s temperature consistent throughout the day and reduces the need for an air conditioner to run constantly.
  • Change your lightbulbs: Some types of light bulbs can make your home feel hotter. It’s important to be mindful about the type of lighting we are using during summer times.  A regular incandescent bulb can get as hot as 500 degrees Fahrenheit, try to use CFL or LED bulbs instead. CFL or LED bulbs not only save energy, but they can also save energy by letting the room cool down.
  • Turn off unused appliances: Appliances generate a large amount of heat energy. Turning off unused televisions, computers and lights will help to keep your home at the ideal temperature.
  • House plants: House plants help cooling by adding humidity to the room. Plants release moisture into the air through the process of transpiration, which is when moisture evaporates from the leaves.

From Summer Blues to Brighter Hues 

The summer blues do not have to put a damper on your plans. Regulating sleep schedules, meal planning, and mindfulness practices can help you manage your summer depression. 

Why So Glum, Chum? 

Some well-known reasons people experience depression are genetics, excessive alcohol use, and stress, but other contributing factors you may not know about are:

  • How you talk about your home can harm your mental health. People who use terms like unfinished projects or cluttered to describe their home had flatter cortisol levels than those who used words like restful and restorative.
  • Disrupted sleep patterns can hurt mental health. Resetting your biological clock can reduce stress and help improve mental health.
  • Insufficient vitamin D.  Sunscreen and air pollution block UV rays critical for vitamin D production, even in places like San Diego and Los Angeles.  

How do you go from surviving to thriving during the summer months? Mindset, cultural practices, diet, activity, and genetics all play a role in helping cope with SAD. 

  • Mindfulness-based interventions have proven effective across a wide range of clinical and non-clinical applications and have a moderate effect on mental health. Use mindfulness tools when experiencing anxiety, overthinking, and struggling to manage external or perceived expectations.
  • Cultural practices can be meditation or spiritual-based prayer, practiced alone or in a group setting. They can also be social experiences like joining a book club or parenting group, going for tea with a friend, or heading to the local brewery for a cold pint. 
  • Prioritize your health by staying active, practicing good eating habits, and keeping hydrated. Schedule meals, healthy snacks, and hydration breaks. Make it fun by adding cucumber slices and mint sprigs or strawberries and lemon slices to sparkling water.
  • Create space for open communication and watch for signs and symptoms of depression in family members. Be respectful of boundaries — if you are having a hard time, they may be too.

Summer Sun 101

Moderate sun exposure is essential for physical and mental health. However, an excess of UV radiation has harmful effects on skin health that can be serious. Understanding the risks of the sun, especially in the summer, is fundamental.

The body needs to synthesize vitamin D (also called “the sunshine vitamin”), which is essential to help the body absorb and fix calcium, a mineral necessary for bone development, muscle health, and the proper functioning of the immune system. On the other hand, the sun is a great mood booster. Natural light increases the production of serotonin, the happiness hormone. And longer days and warmer temperatures invite you to spend more time outdoors. These aspects become an excellent remedy to lift your mood and treat seasonal depression.

Nonetheless, be careful with sun exposure. You should always keep just the right amount of sun that your body needs. Failure to do so causes the melanin not to offer enough protection, which can have harmful consequences for the skin’s health.

Staycations, Backyard Cookouts, and Farmgate Tours 

The staycation is an excellent way to spend your summer catching up with friends, strengthening family relationships, and being a tourist in your own town. 

  • Water activities like pool parties and slip-n-slide kickball can be hours of fun. Mosquitoes breed in stagnant water — make cleaning up after part of the fun.
  • Plan events like a backyard cookout, a beer tasting, or a wine and cheese party. Support local businesses by purchasing from your local craft brewery, winery, and farm markets.
  • Party activity ideas like outdoor movie nights or epic board game adventures can be fun for children and adults.
  • Camp in your backyard — a fun idea for a sleepover or when the kids need a break from parents. Have the kids set up their own tents, plan and pack their meals for overnight, and give them an exit strategy if it gets a little scary. 

Hosting the Perfect Barbecue 

It’s the hot season and there’s no better way to enjoy a summer evening with your friends or family than with a barbecue. Whether it’s meat or vegetable or mixed, it will be a great way to get together and reduce the summer blues. When it comes to meat there are a lot of good options to choose from. Steak, sirloin and ribeye are the most common ingredients that can be  accompanied with grilled onions, vegetables and some bread. Keep in mind that the preparation takes time so snacks, such as potatoes or fruit, should be a must. 

  • Prepare the grill ahead of time and make sure you have enough charcoal for the roast.
  • Cut everything you will need during the preparation: onions, vegetables and meat preparation.
  • Decorate your backyard and chill beers or whatever you want to drink during the evening.
  • Enjoy and disconnect talking with your loved ones. 

Seasonal beer and wine tasting  

Whether it’s for the barbecue, a pool party or an evening of movies in your backyard, with the high temperatures enjoying local beer or wine are a great idea.  A pilsner, made with bottom-fermenting lager yeast or wheat beers can be a good option.If you have a special glass for beer at home, putting it in the freezer for a couple of hours will make it even cooler. As for wines, there are many options for this season, either a Riesling, rosé, Pinot Noir will not fail for any kind of plan. 

Cheeses and hams, perfect summer appetizers 

We know that it is a tradition in France to enjoy an evening of aperitifs and why not apply it to us this summer. Invite your friends and enjoy an evening of hams and cheeses with a good wine. Some cheeses can be very strong, so if your visitors are beginners they can start by tasting a brie or camembert cheese, accompanied by a baguette and if they put a little bit of honey it will give an incredible flavor. 

Make the most of your Outdoor Space 

If it is not possible to get out of the house this summer, what better than a night camping with our children or friends in the backyard. Set up your tent, decorate it with some lights and get ready to spend a fun night watching movies, eating popcorn and talking horror or suspense stories to make the night more exciting. If it’s with friends, a boarding game in the tent is a good option or enjoy a pizza while watching the stars of the night.

Pool Party Time

If you have a pool at home or even an inflatable one, a pool party will make everyone’s summer.  Prepare some drinks, set up a net for water games for friends and play your best music. You can also do various activities such as a water balloon war, play water volleyball or just enjoy good conversations with your loved ones.

Another popular option these days is to play beer pong, which consists of two teams of either 1 or 2 people each and place several glasses on both sides of a long table. The first team to get all the balls in is the winner and as the balls are pocketed, they must drink the beer.

Forge Friendships in Fresh Air and Forests 

Take advantage of the sun while you can. The UVB radiation from the sun converts into vitamin D3 in our bodies. Our bodies use 100% of the Vitamin D from the sun. It remains in our system for longer than when we supplement with an ingested form. If you plan on being in the sun for an extended time, use precautions. Overexposure can have deadly effects. Cover up exposed areas, wear a hat, and watch for heat exhaustion and heat stroke signs.

Create green spaces inside and out. Studies have shown that interacting with indoor plants can reduce physiological and psychological stress. Gardening and growing food also have a positive impact. Therapeutic horticulture is used as an adjunct treatment in people struggling with disordered eating habits because it gives them a sense of control over what they are eating.

Ready, Set, Travel

When you are ready to travel, plan for success. Start with your home. Do you have a go-to person to check up on your home or a favorite house sitter for your pets? Provide emergency contact information to your closest neighbors and let them know how long you will be gone.

Have a safety plan that includes what to do if you get separated, your wallet is stolen, or your luggage is lost. 

There are many travel options — eco vacations, adventurous travel, and paradise destinations. Before you book your trip check out these tips that could help make your summer vacation a success:

  • Check in with your family — if no one wants to see the Hoover Dam, no matter how much you plan, maybe don’t go.
  • Budget — flights, car rentals, accommodations, and travel insurance can eat up a travel budget and leave little spending cash for fun dinners and souvenirs.
  • Make a pro and con list: popular destinations can be crowded but exciting, while taking the path untraveled can be adventurous yet leave you stranded.

Choose the Perfect Summer Location

Taking in consideration the personality of potential destinations can make a difference in the success of your vacation. The price will determine which location to choose. Destination, language, climate and time available are essential factors for choosing the perfect spot. Beyond the travel tastes of each person, the best way to choose the perfect destination for your summer vacation is to identify what type of traveler you are.

  • Road trip: Taking a road trip gives you the opportunity to visit multiple destinations, different attractions in a wider area, by car or public transportation.
  • Adventure:Adventure tourism, also called alternative tourism, consists of the exploration of places with certain perceived risks that require special skills or a certain physical condition to practice some type of extreme sport. In addition, it can be done over activities in the land, water or air.
  • Relaxation travel: Resorts, all-inclusive hotels or spas are the most popular. They focus on a single destination, which has a beautiful landscape, where you can rest, see a show, do some activity organized by the hotel. Another option for this type of trip is to rent a vacation home or take advantage of an existing space if you already own one.
  • Cultural visit: Cultural travel allows you to discover the gastronomy,  monuments, museums and cultural attractions of your location.
  • Cruises: This type of vacation is slowly growing as there is more competition and travel is becoming more affordable. Summer cruise trips are a great alternative to live experiences that suit the tastes of the whole family. 

Home Away From Home 

A change of pace could be just what the family needs, but an all-inclusive paradise destination may not be in your budget. Long-term home rentals or home exchanges offer an economical way to explore new places.

If you have a family lake cottage or timeshare, take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the change of environment. Do not forget the essentials — high chairs, favorite bed sheets, and kitchen items give a sense of familiarity to the adventure. 

When sharing the space with loved ones outside of your day-to-day circle, consider the strain that can take on any family dynamic and plan to avoid problems. This can be as simple as setting up alone zones where people can find quiet and privacy or structured meal times.

A trip to the family cabin can also be a great time to perform some maintenance on the property.  

  • Check for infestations and take steps to eradicate them.
  • Clean the eaves and areas around the foundation of leaves and debris that may have come down during winter storms.
  • Check for signs of water damage and plumbing issues.

If you find the upkeep is more than you can tackle, hire a property manager or consider a housekeeper. Think about installing a security system to protect your family while you are there and your investment while you are away.

Whether your summer plans include a staycation or an extended vacation away, you can use this guide to help you plan, prepare, and get organized for a great summer.  Beat the summer blues with healthy tools, enjoy the outdoors, spend time with friends and family, and perhaps learn a new skill or two. 


Thank you to Teresa Siqueira at Porch.com for sharing this guest blog with us! Want to share something you’ve written too? Send our community manager an email at lacey@shadowsedge.com.

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Cultural Competence in Healthcare: Are We Doing Enough? https://diggingdeep.org/cultural-competence-healthcare/ https://diggingdeep.org/cultural-competence-healthcare/#respond Wed, 06 Apr 2022 19:36:44 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15942 How to close the gap between cultural competence on paper and the actual embodiment of a culturally competent clinician in practice.

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In the world of mental health and overall healthcare, many understand cultural competence to mean a combination of the level of knowledge a provider possesses regarding how their patients from different cultural backgrounds are affected by and approach certain health issues, the professional’s ability to embrace that diversity, and the necessary action taken towards reducing the obvious disparities patients face. But there tends to be a gap between what it means to be culturally competent on paper, and the actual embodiment of a culturally competent clinician in practice. We have the option to pursue continued education and cultural competency trainings to increase our effectiveness in treatment which should be the minimal requirement to uphold basic standard of care. However, beyond what can be taught in these educational courses is the personal level of consciousness and commitment to be self-aware and self-reflective, while also taking into consideration the inherent biases in how we apply everyday tools and its impact on patients.

There continues to be stigma associated with mental illness and mental health care in BIPOC and other marginalized communities, and for many the first point of contact for treatment tends to be a trusted primary care provider. Having that initial rapport between a patient and their doctor is critical for a successful warm hand off to a mental health professional. However, studies have shown that up to 25% of physicians who have recently graduated medical school report feeling unprepared to provide effective cross-cultural care to patients (Kripalani et al., 2011). If there continues to be a struggle with providing culturally competent care, it will only serve to perpetuate the justifiable fear patients have of seeking help due to the possibility of not being understood or of being treated unfairly.

Looking Inward

It’s unrealistic to assume that we should know everything about everyone’s culture, but we can start by examining how our own culture has shaped our lives. The RESPECTFUL model (D’Andrea & Daniels, 2001, 2015) consists of ten factors which affect an individual’s psychological development and personal wellbeing. They are:

  • Religion/spirituality
  • Economic/social class background
  • Sexual identity
  • Personal style and education/Psychological maturity
  • Ethnic/racial identity
  • Chronological/lifespan status and challenges
  • Trauma/crisis
  • Family background and history
  • Unique physical characteristics
  • Location of residence, language differences

While not an exhaustive list, it’s a start to begin identifying your multicultural self (Ivey et al., 2018). Have an honest conversation with yourself about any biases or assumptions you may have about certain populations. How would you identify on the different multicultural dimensions? What strengths have you drawn from these? Challenges? In the past, how have you interacted with those who differ from you on each of the above dimensions? Begin to think about your patients more holistically and explore therapeutic techniques and interventions that effectively address the needs of the patient in front of you. Remember, it is not your patient’s job to educate you on their oppression or how experiences of racial injustice and inequities have impacted them and their communities. Take it upon yourself to learn about the populations you work with, combining a strength based and trauma informed approach to begin bridging the gaps towards more effective and meaningful communication.

Assessment, Diagnosis, Theory, and Culture

When assessing a patient, ask yourself if there is any way you may be biased in your assessment and if any countertransference experienced may still be present and impacting your work with them. Learn how your patient experiences the world, any cultural beliefs, or meanings they may be associating with their psychological or physical symptom(s), and how your recommended course of treatment will impact them not just on an individual level, but in relation to their family and community.

We want to assure that we are not taking a ‘one size fits all’ approach to treatment, and that starts by acknowledging how the framework for many theoretical orientations have centered whiteness and heterosexuality, and how the DSM5 fails to fully acknowledge the effects of racial trauma, oppression, and discrimination on marginalized individuals. Post-traumatic stress disorder is currently a diagnosis that can be provided for those who have experienced trauma due to exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). However, racism would only be considered a trauma when the patient meets this criterion in relation to a specific violent and racist event, such as being assaulted during a hate crime. The issue with this is that it excludes those who can’t narrow down the trauma from racism to a single event, and yet still experience trauma in the form of systemic and institutionalized racism such as microaggressions at work, racial slurs, hiring discrimination, and a cumulation of other traumatic experiences. And what ends up happening is providers are left trying to fit all other reported traumatic events and symptoms into other categories that quite frankly fail to grasp the full impact of these traumas.

We always want to make sure that the interventions we are choosing to match the patient’s experiences, and that includes how we assess and diagnose. To reduce diagnostic bias, take the necessary time needed to make an accurate diagnosis. Consider all other possible contributing factors for a patient’s symptoms including co-occurring disorders, be mindful of self-confirmatory bias and narrowing in on information only because it is consistent with your existing beliefs, and the different stereotypes that surround certain diagnoses. Remember to continue embracing diversity to promote equitable care and work cultural competency into all aspects of your profession.


This post is graciously contributed by Suhailey Núñez, LMHC


 References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.).

D’Andrea, M., & Daniels, J. (2001). RESPECTFUL counseling: An integrative model for counselors. In D. Pope-Davis & H. Coleman (Eds.), The interface of class, culture and gender in counseling (pp. 417-466). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Ivey, A.E. & Ivey, M. B. , & Zalaquett (2018). Intentional interviewing and counseling: Facilitating client development in a multicultural society (9th ed). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/ Cole. 

Kripalani, S., Bussey-Jones, J., Katz, M. G., & Genao, I. (2006). A prescription for cultural competence in medical education. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 21(10), 1116–1120. https://doi-org.proxy.wexler.hunter.cuny.edu/10.1111/j.1525-1497.2006.00557.x

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How to Address the Physical and Mental Health Effects of Being Young and Marginalized https://diggingdeep.org/address-physical-mental-health-young-marginalized/ https://diggingdeep.org/address-physical-mental-health-young-marginalized/#respond Wed, 16 Feb 2022 16:33:06 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15937 The secret to supporting marginalized communities is not in praise or silence or pretending we’re beyond race or gender but in confronting the biases that underlie all our actions.

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As teenagers and young adults, we write the story of who we are – and it’s a story with multiple perspectives. One perspective is self-understanding: We come to understand our personality, our abilities and our preferences. Another perspective is like looking down from the viewpoint of a narrator to see how other people understand us. Are you included or excluded? Are your thoughts and opinions respected or overlooked? Do you make people comfortable or uncomfortable? Do people generally want you to succeed or fail? How people relate to us can influence how we relate to them, and as this transaction bounces back and forth, it can eventually lead to feeling like a part of a community or feeling like you’re looking in the window of a party for which you never got an invitation. It can even feel like being accepted by a community that will never really be your own.

It’s easy to say, Forget those people, and decide that self-understanding is enough – that knowing yourself is the only perspective that matters, and decide to firewall yourself emotionally from the negative ways that others perceive you. But giving in to marginalization has consequences. An American Psychological Association report found that LGBT and racial minority adults who have experienced discrimination have average stress levels of 6.4 on a 10-point scale, while majority race, non-LGBT adults who have not experienced discrimination average 5.0. One survey of LGBTQ teens found that they experienced high levels of anxiety, feelings of rejection, and fear for their safety. Other research found that undocumented Latina immigrants reached the minimum factors for PTSD nearly four times (34%) the rate of U.S. women overall (9.7%). 

These highly visible causes of marginalization such as race, gender, socioeconomic status, disability and sexual orientation aren’t the only reasons young people may feel marginalized. Take young people who feel like their relationship is marginalized – for example, maybe a teenager whose parents disapprove of the person they are dating. Research shows that people in a marginalized relationship have poorer physical health, lower self-esteem and riskier health behaviors, including more cigarette smoking and less frequent condom use. 

Really, it doesn’t take much digging to discover that being young and marginalized puts people at higher risk of pretty much every physical and mental health challenge you can imagine, and points marginalized people toward lower achievement, lower wealth and even lower life expectancy.

So while the paths into marginalization vary, they all lead a place where people have to fight against a headwind to reach happiness, health or prosperity. That’s not to say it can’t be done: Every person is different and some marginalized young people will succeed. But they have to succeed despite the wind in their faces pushing them back every step of the way.

What can we all do from within and from outside these populations to decrease these headwinds? The answer is…it’s tricky.

One study looked at male bosses who over-praised female employees. On one hand, these bosses offered more praise to a marginalized group. You might think this was a way to offer extra support that would lead to higher performance, raises and promotions. Unfortunately, this artificial praise was also patronizing. It was as if the male boss didn’t expect the female employee to be able to perform at the level of male employees and so was praising female employees for work quality that was simply expected of others. This patronizing was paired with poorer work performance. And it was not paired with raises or promotions.

“To be patronized is to be treated as if you are less intelligent or knowledgeable than the person you’re speaking with, and it can be one of the most frustrating experiences you can have in life,” writes Dr. Nathaniel Granger in a Saybrook University alumni publication.

In other words, there’s the danger of over-correction. If it used to be that under-valuing the contributions of marginalized groups (whether at work or in society) kept people in these groups from dignity, advancement and success, artificially over-valuing contributions has a similar effect. When a male boss says, “Wow, Kathleen, you did a spectacular job collating and stapling this report!” The effect can be to undermine the importance and even decrease the quality of all the other work this employee does.

Another example of patronizing a marginalized community comes from a TIME article by activist John Cloud that writes about a Supreme Court case legalizing gay sex (at a time when many states still had laws forbidding intercourse between men), “It was sweet of Justice Kennedy to say gays can now ‘enter upon [a] relationship in the confines of their homes … and still retain their dignity as free persons.’ Gays have found their own dignity through decades of refusing to hide. For the court to come around, at this late date, to acknowledging our existence as ‘free persons’ is shockingly patronizing; it’s condescension that has been cast as liberation.”

So is the answer to clam up? To guard against undervaluing or patronizing marginalized people by having no interactions at all? Of course not. Even active bullying has some advantages over this quiet form of marginalization.

“Bullying and overt forms of rejection still provide the individual with a sense of recognition and importance. Others must go out of their ways to bully, to overtly reject, and this expended effort alone is substantiation that one deserves recognition. However, another aversive interpersonal behavior deprives the individual of the sense of recognition and meaning: being ignored and excluded,” writes a study in the Cambridge University Press.

Or maybe the answer is to relate as best we can as if race or gender or sexual preference or another marginalizing factor were non-existent – as if we are blind to these characteristics or have moved beyond them? Unfortunately, your subconscious has other ideas and will out you (to borrow a loaded term), in the form of microaggressions. Yes, we’re talking the same microaggressions that we hear so much about – from people advocating for marginalized groups and from those in majority populations who think the “political correctness” debate has gone too far. But imagine living with the tide of small, comments (“My dog’s name is Simba, too,!” writes Simba Runyowa in the Atlantic, describing a college friend’s reaction to his name), or simply the heightened awareness of sitting next to someone in a public space whom you recognize is different than you. Pretending as if we have moved past marginalization leaves bias festering in the subconscious – and too often bubbling to the surface when we least expect it.

No, the answer (if there is one) is not in praise or silence or the woke belief that we’re beyond race or gender – really, it’s not in any single kind of action at all, but in confronting these biases that underlie all our actions. Why do some male bosses patronize female employees? Because of the underlying bias whispering that female employees shouldn’t be expected to deliver the same quality of work as others. Why did the Supreme Court feel like it needed to offer dignity without, at the time, offering equal rights like marriage or the right of hospital visitation to the LGBT community? Because the Court felt like it could magnanimously bestow this dignity upon a group that had no inherent dignity of its own. Why do we seek to mute our biases? Because we recognize these biases still have a voice.

So give them voice. One thing you can do to confront marginalization is to work to move your biases from your subconscious to your conscious mind. In other words: Think about the things you believe and why you believe them. Did you grow up a certain way in a certain community that believed certain things about certain groups? How do your own experiences create your subconscious beliefs? When you see subtle discrimination that leads to marginalization, call it out – whether you are the one seeing a mistake, making a mistake or feeling the force of the mistake. Tell your story to others and provide a non-judgmental space where others can tell their stories to you. In classrooms and boardrooms and social situations, talk about marginalization.

“For marginalized youth, the transition to adulthood is a stage of life in which inequalities can be either magnified or reduced,” points out an article in the Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal.  

Whether you are inside a marginalized community or working to be a force of empathy and dignity from outside these communities, don’t be afraid to be the light that shines into dark corners. Open your ears. Open your eyes. Open your mind. 

And open your mouth.

It’s up to you to continue the conversation.

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With COVID, Everyone Finally Gets the Anxiety of Illness https://diggingdeep.org/anxiety-covid-19/ https://diggingdeep.org/anxiety-covid-19/#respond Tue, 25 Jan 2022 05:04:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15242 Is it immoral to feel relief that others have been forced to join your anxiety? Is it right or wrong to feel good that others' risk actually reduces the risk for your own child?

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As an educational psychologist at a K-8 school with a mission for gifted education and also in private practice, I work with a lot of parents who have spent years fighting for their kids’ mental and physical health. I’ve had a few parents whose kids are immunocompromised, who talk about their anxiety in going to the grocery store, or about the real danger to their kids of going to the doctor’s office for routine care, or to the dentist for a cleaning. They talk about the looks they get from other parents when they ask their children to use hand sanitizer at a birthday party. Or the looks they get when their child is wearing a mask in public. Parents in the illness community have been forced to cultivate an attitude of increased vigilance, constantly on the lookout for exposures that could be dangerous or even fatal for their kids.

Now, since the start of COVID-19, we all get to experience a hint of what they’ve been going through all along. We are ALL at risk of exposure to a dangerous disease, and while many of us who are healthy are unlikely to die from coronavirus, we understand the fear and anxiety of transmission.

And I’ve had parents in the illness community talk about how good that feels — some with guilt and some unabashed in their relief to finally feel respected and understood. Many of these parents have spent years being told they are overprotective or over concerned or just plain crazy. Now, in a way, these same parents get the chance to be leaders and mentors in communities that newly understand the need to stay safe.

I’ve also heard from these parents that in some ways they feel LESS anxious about their children’s health during COVID-19. Of course, parents fear their children could be exposed to the disease, which for many of these kids could result in much more severe sickness than for kids with strong baseline health. But for many of these kids ANY exposure could be dangerous. And now masking and social distancing not only reduces the chance of catching COVID-19, but also reduces the risk of picking up any dangerous virus or bacteria.

One of the parents who talked to me about her fear of picking up an exposure in the grocery store that she could give to her immunocompromised son told me that now with everyone in masks, using hand sanitizer, and staying 6 feet apart, she feels like she can shop without fear. For her and for many parents like her, this is a dramatic change. She also mentioned feeling like her child’s use of a mask is normalized. With everyone in masks, her child can finally feel “regular.”

Of course, these mixed feelings about COVID-19 are tricky for people inside and outside the illness community. Is it immoral to feel relief that others have been forced to join your anxiety? Is it right or wrong to feel good that others’ risk actually reduces the risk for your own child? Or is it simply validating to have a society that overlooked your child’s needs and your own actions finally experience what you’ve been going through all along?

There are no easy answers. And I would love to hear what you think about society joining the illness experience. Now that we’re all at risk together, how has this changed the way you feel about parenting or working with kids who have been at risk all along?

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An Activity to Externalize Anxiety and Visualize Hope During the Pandemic (and Beyond!) https://diggingdeep.org/activity-externalize-anxiety/ https://diggingdeep.org/activity-externalize-anxiety/#respond Thu, 20 Jan 2022 04:53:00 +0000 https://diggingdeep.org/?p=15206 By making a physical representation of my anxiety, I can look at it, name it, and eventually deal with it. I can label my fear and make it feel manageable. 

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In March 2020, we all stepped out our doors into the unknown, but I didn’t realize it until about a week ago — I am a slow processor. My response to the pandemic was to make strict daily schedules of work, schoolwork and activities for me and my family.

Kestrel painting worry ghost
Kestrel making a “worry ghost”

When my husband, Garth, freaked out when I didn’t return my bike to “the correct bike hook in his organized garage,” I realized I am not the only one using organization to fight uncertainty. My strict family schedule and organizing around the house is my way of trying to find a sense of control and structure in my life during a time when I can control very little.

What would happen if I stopped and sat with this uncertainty? YIKES! Even as I type these words I open a floodgate of worries and fears: What would happen if I get sick or if someone I love gets sick? What if Garth or I lose our jobs? Should I find a way to get to Pennsylvania to be with my parents… the list of fears goes on and on. 

As the pandemic stretches on, I can’t hide behind the same daily structure and I am not sure I want to simply replace it with a new daily schedule. But I’m also not sure I can face the full force of my uncertainty. I need to find ways to help myself and my family face our fears while also holding hope for our future. My answer is… Pac Man! 

Every time a worry comes up for me, I create a Pac Man ghost and write the worry on it with a sharpie. Some worries are bigger ghosts and some are smaller. Psychologists refer to this as externalizing anxiety. By making a physical representation of my anxiety, I can look at it, name it, and eventually deal with it. I can label my fear and make it feel manageable. 

My Pac Man ghosts are now hanging next to the colorful ghosts of the rest of my family. Some worries were easy for my kids, Leif and Kestrel, to label but others packed such an emotional punch that they needed support putting the fear into words. Now when a worry comes up or if we notice a family member worrying (often children show worries through behavior) we make a ghost and hang it up on the wall.

Leif drawing his hopes

But I don’t want our house to just be filled with worries and fear. We can’t go back through the door we opened in 2020 but we can intentionally open new doors of hopes and dreams to our future. 

After making the Pac Man ghosts, we have started making a new kind of art. First, we paint along with Bob Ross or make our own art. Then on our art we write words filled with hopes and dreams for our family for the year or two ahead. Now opposite our ghosts, we have a wall filled with hopeful art and descriptions of our family dog walks, Kestrel working on science puzzles on the phone with my dad, biking instead of driving, and our collective vision for our future. 

I can look between these two walls. On one side is my anxiety. On the other side is my hope.

Now I continue to create some structure for my family’s days, but by making my anxieties visible and thus a little more manageable, I will see if I can also allow some space for uncertainty. To me that feels like the perfect balance for the world I am living with right now.

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